Are you sitting down. If not, do it; we have some pretty big news.
No, I'm not pregnant :-p
Last Friday Alec's company got their unofficial web orders for duty stations after TBS and other schooling. We were slated to go to Camp Lejeune in North Carolina, so we started looking for places. But, Saturday at the ball, another lawyer in his platoon informed us that he was supposed to go to Japan, but his wife was expecting their next child and they would be unable to make the trip together as a family; additionally one of their three dogs couldn't fly because of breed restrictions. So, the two of them conspired, put in a hardship request with the SPC, and as of today it is official: Starting April 29th, we are going to Okinawa, Japan for 3 years!!
What does this mean for the wedding? Well, hopefully nothing. Ideally, we can still plan from long distance, and fly back Space-A (free between air stations) to Texas.
I'm encouraging all of our family members to get Skype, as it is free, intuitive, and a life-saver for long distance relationships.
This is a very exciting development!! Stay tuned as it progresses :)
Here you can follow our adventures in "turning Japanese" as we experience Okinawa!!
09 November 2011
03 August 2011
My Other Family
I swear this isn't a bigamy post; but I have one partner and 8 wives.
I remember life in the corporate world. I remember seeing the secretary more often than I saw my own bed. I understand many marriages exist where both husband and wife see one another less per day than they are at work.
But at least they come home.
Some days, some weeks, some weekends, some months, we don't see our Marines. We can't count on anything approaching a regular work schedule. So we schedule time with each other. Today someone said, verbatim, "We are each other's family for this month. All we can plan on is that we can't plan to see our husbands on the weekends. We need to just plan to see one another."
It's true. The wives, husbands, and significant others in my Marine's company have become my family; a motley family of mostly women and small children and dogs. We have lunch together, we help one another redecorate, clean, take care of kids and pets. We have game nights, weekend tea, movie nights, and random pool time.
Because everybody needs somebody; even a woman with the perfect partner may still need a wife. Or eight :)
I remember life in the corporate world. I remember seeing the secretary more often than I saw my own bed. I understand many marriages exist where both husband and wife see one another less per day than they are at work.
But at least they come home.
Some days, some weeks, some weekends, some months, we don't see our Marines. We can't count on anything approaching a regular work schedule. So we schedule time with each other. Today someone said, verbatim, "We are each other's family for this month. All we can plan on is that we can't plan to see our husbands on the weekends. We need to just plan to see one another."
It's true. The wives, husbands, and significant others in my Marine's company have become my family; a motley family of mostly women and small children and dogs. We have lunch together, we help one another redecorate, clean, take care of kids and pets. We have game nights, weekend tea, movie nights, and random pool time.
Because everybody needs somebody; even a woman with the perfect partner may still need a wife. Or eight :)
05 May 2011
the Military Spouse
My email was read on air on NPR's "Talk of the Nation" today, during a programme about Military Spouses. As usual, though, when compressing thoughts into soundbytes, a lot is lost in translation.
As I do my errands throughout the day, the beginning verse of a poem I hope to write keeps floating through my head:
She* is more than just her husband's support structure. The title "dependent" is undeserved. To be a military wife takes a certain attitude, a lot of self-sufficiency, independence, emotional fortitude, capability and confidence. I've been (I'm ashamed to admit) surprised that the women I meet are some of the strongest women I've known. And, just as servicemembers commit themselves to serving others, military spouses must share that same sense of service. I guess that's what I wanted to convey with my comment.
I don't know if that came across or not, but I hope so. I want people to know that women in this situation don't just wear "Navy/Marine/Army/Air Force Wife" tee shirts and put flags on their cars; but that they are real people, strong people, and they have a full-time job (whether they work or not) in supporting their spouses and their families.
And all of that without a support structure of their own. Military life means moving; a lot. Finding work for a few months' time is almost impossible; leaving your family and friends behind every time; locating new grocery stores, doctors, veterinarians; pinning down new apartments or homes to live in; enrolling children in new schools. Imagine all the hassles of a major move, every 6 -12 months.
Even for those who don't suffer a deployment, life in the military is trying. A typical day in our household goes like this: I make his breakfast and pack his lunch every morning, make sure his uniforms are clean and pressed and ready to go, give him a haircut once a week, remind him of upcoming deadlines and dates. During work hours, because servicemembers can't take time to handle basic errands such as contacting banks, landlords, medical offices, etc. which can only be handled during that time of day, having a spouse who can do these things helps. After that, I clean up the apartment, fix things which are broken, do the shopping. At night, I serve supper when he gets home, help him do physical therapy and prepare for work the next day.
We're lucky if we have an entire weekend together ever, as he is frequently called to work on Saturday or Sunday, also. Most weekdays Alec leaves the house by 0700, some days as early as 0500; and most days he is home around 1800, sometimes as late as 2200; and once a month he doesn't come home overnight at all. And that's not even while he's training! I can only imagine the strain on families where the spouse also works his/her own job. Then throw kids into the mix. It takes a lot.
FYI, tomorrow is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.
*Spouses of servicemembers are overwhelmingly women, although there are undoubtedly males in the same position
As I do my errands throughout the day, the beginning verse of a poem I hope to write keeps floating through my head:
My husband is a Marine; but he is more than merely a Marine. He is a partner, a lover, a brother, a son, a friend, a person.The same should be said of "the military spouse."
She* is more than just her husband's support structure. The title "dependent" is undeserved. To be a military wife takes a certain attitude, a lot of self-sufficiency, independence, emotional fortitude, capability and confidence. I've been (I'm ashamed to admit) surprised that the women I meet are some of the strongest women I've known. And, just as servicemembers commit themselves to serving others, military spouses must share that same sense of service. I guess that's what I wanted to convey with my comment.
I don't know if that came across or not, but I hope so. I want people to know that women in this situation don't just wear "Navy/Marine/Army/Air Force Wife" tee shirts and put flags on their cars; but that they are real people, strong people, and they have a full-time job (whether they work or not) in supporting their spouses and their families.
And all of that without a support structure of their own. Military life means moving; a lot. Finding work for a few months' time is almost impossible; leaving your family and friends behind every time; locating new grocery stores, doctors, veterinarians; pinning down new apartments or homes to live in; enrolling children in new schools. Imagine all the hassles of a major move, every 6 -12 months.
Even for those who don't suffer a deployment, life in the military is trying. A typical day in our household goes like this: I make his breakfast and pack his lunch every morning, make sure his uniforms are clean and pressed and ready to go, give him a haircut once a week, remind him of upcoming deadlines and dates. During work hours, because servicemembers can't take time to handle basic errands such as contacting banks, landlords, medical offices, etc. which can only be handled during that time of day, having a spouse who can do these things helps. After that, I clean up the apartment, fix things which are broken, do the shopping. At night, I serve supper when he gets home, help him do physical therapy and prepare for work the next day.
We're lucky if we have an entire weekend together ever, as he is frequently called to work on Saturday or Sunday, also. Most weekdays Alec leaves the house by 0700, some days as early as 0500; and most days he is home around 1800, sometimes as late as 2200; and once a month he doesn't come home overnight at all. And that's not even while he's training! I can only imagine the strain on families where the spouse also works his/her own job. Then throw kids into the mix. It takes a lot.
FYI, tomorrow is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.
*Spouses of servicemembers are overwhelmingly women, although there are undoubtedly males in the same position
03 April 2011
Travelling through Life
As unbelievable as it sounds and eerie as it felt, last week I found myself making the five-states'-long drive from Texas to South Carolina to be with my man. As one young girl asked me in Louisiana when I stopped to buy a road atlas, "He told you to quit your job and move in with him?!?" No, child. I wouldn't marry someone like that. As if I'd listen anyway! No one puts baby in a corner.
Yet, since arriving, I've discovered a very "traditionally feminine" part of myself. I've done such things as buy a vacuum cleaner, fold laundry on a regular basis, and have supper on the table when he comes home each day. I've refinished furniture, cross-stitched our wedding album cover, and hung photographs in this formerly-sparse apartment home. I've lost weight, I feel more confident and more content than perhaps I ever have.
It is, to say the least, very different; particularly for, as I've been described by his coworkers, fellow Marines and lawyers, "a career woman." And perhaps the most disconcerting part (if it is, in fact, disconcerting) is that I like it. I really like it! I don't think of this phase of my life as a transition to something else -- as I did, with my job, when I had it. I give no thought to where I'm going next. There is a next, but it's not what drives me. Right now, finally, I'm content with my life. I am where I ought to be. I exist, and every day is right.
I have never been happier.
Yet, since arriving, I've discovered a very "traditionally feminine" part of myself. I've done such things as buy a vacuum cleaner, fold laundry on a regular basis, and have supper on the table when he comes home each day. I've refinished furniture, cross-stitched our wedding album cover, and hung photographs in this formerly-sparse apartment home. I've lost weight, I feel more confident and more content than perhaps I ever have.
It is, to say the least, very different; particularly for, as I've been described by his coworkers, fellow Marines and lawyers, "a career woman." And perhaps the most disconcerting part (if it is, in fact, disconcerting) is that I like it. I really like it! I don't think of this phase of my life as a transition to something else -- as I did, with my job, when I had it. I give no thought to where I'm going next. There is a next, but it's not what drives me. Right now, finally, I'm content with my life. I am where I ought to be. I exist, and every day is right.
I have never been happier.
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