As I do my errands throughout the day, the beginning verse of a poem I hope to write keeps floating through my head:
My husband is a Marine; but he is more than merely a Marine. He is a partner, a lover, a brother, a son, a friend, a person.The same should be said of "the military spouse."
She* is more than just her husband's support structure. The title "dependent" is undeserved. To be a military wife takes a certain attitude, a lot of self-sufficiency, independence, emotional fortitude, capability and confidence. I've been (I'm ashamed to admit) surprised that the women I meet are some of the strongest women I've known. And, just as servicemembers commit themselves to serving others, military spouses must share that same sense of service. I guess that's what I wanted to convey with my comment.
I don't know if that came across or not, but I hope so. I want people to know that women in this situation don't just wear "Navy/Marine/Army/Air Force Wife" tee shirts and put flags on their cars; but that they are real people, strong people, and they have a full-time job (whether they work or not) in supporting their spouses and their families.
And all of that without a support structure of their own. Military life means moving; a lot. Finding work for a few months' time is almost impossible; leaving your family and friends behind every time; locating new grocery stores, doctors, veterinarians; pinning down new apartments or homes to live in; enrolling children in new schools. Imagine all the hassles of a major move, every 6 -12 months.
Even for those who don't suffer a deployment, life in the military is trying. A typical day in our household goes like this: I make his breakfast and pack his lunch every morning, make sure his uniforms are clean and pressed and ready to go, give him a haircut once a week, remind him of upcoming deadlines and dates. During work hours, because servicemembers can't take time to handle basic errands such as contacting banks, landlords, medical offices, etc. which can only be handled during that time of day, having a spouse who can do these things helps. After that, I clean up the apartment, fix things which are broken, do the shopping. At night, I serve supper when he gets home, help him do physical therapy and prepare for work the next day.
We're lucky if we have an entire weekend together ever, as he is frequently called to work on Saturday or Sunday, also. Most weekdays Alec leaves the house by 0700, some days as early as 0500; and most days he is home around 1800, sometimes as late as 2200; and once a month he doesn't come home overnight at all. And that's not even while he's training! I can only imagine the strain on families where the spouse also works his/her own job. Then throw kids into the mix. It takes a lot.
FYI, tomorrow is Military Spouse Appreciation Day.
*Spouses of servicemembers are overwhelmingly women, although there are undoubtedly males in the same position
